


And I Do Appreciate You Being 'Round (Help #2)

by Shadowc44



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Not Blaine or Klaine Friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-08 03:47:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14096535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowc44/pseuds/Shadowc44
Summary: Episode 501 fix – continuation. Kurt and Adam talk about their relationship, and discuss their future.Please read "Help Me If You Can (I'm Feeling Down)" first. It really is essential to understanding this one.





	And I Do Appreciate You Being 'Round (Help #2)

Kurt did indeed have a lot of things to catch up on, including the performance evaluation he’d missed. Rachel and Santana wanted to know everything, but he didn’t feel like telling them. They were disappointed, but after being reassured that he was fine, the engagement was broken, and he was moving on with his life, they agreed to wait until he was ready to tell them more. He thought it was rather decent of them, actually. He did insist Rachel go to the NYADA chat room and explain that she had been playing a practical joke a couple of days before, about Kurt and his ex being engaged, and apologizing to everyone for wasting their time with it. He stood over her shoulder and watched as she typed.

The next day, after his father left, Kurt saw Adam in the hallway in between classes. The blond smiled at him, but seemed a bit hesitant to approach. 

“Hey, Adam, do you have a minute?” Kurt asked.

“Yeah, I’ve got about three of them before I have to be in class,” Adam grinned.

“Would you like to have coffee with me after school today?”

“Sure,” Adam agreed immediately. “My last class ends at 4:00.”

“Mine, too. Shall we meet at The Beanery as soon as we both get there?”

“Sounds good. See you then.” Adam smiled again and waved before turning in the direction of his classroom.

<><><><><><><><><><>

 

The Beanery was pretty crowded, but Kurt had found a good spot towards the back. It seemed more prudent to grab some coffee and the comfortable chairs. He kept an eye on the entrance, and as soon as Adam walked in, Kurt stood up and waved.

Adam waved back, then went to stand in line. In a couple of minutes he joined Kurt, with a cup of tea.

The steam was still rising from Kurt’s cup.

“How did you get here quicker than me?” Adam asked teasingly. “My legs are longer than yours.”

“Longer doesn’t necessarily mean faster,” Kurt pointed out. “And I may have been sort of running, to get us a good spot.”

“Ah. That makes sense.”

“So.” Kurt bit his lip. “I’ve got a lot of things to say, but I’m not sure where to start.”

“Perhaps I should start first, then,” Adam suggested.

“If you want,” Kurt agreed.

“I had been thinking we were dating,” Adam confessed, cheeks stained a dull red. “Maybe not exclusively yet, but I thought we were moving in that direction.”

Kurt opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before he got his words out. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to lead you on. I thought we were dating, too. I just --” He came to a stop, not sure how to explain it.

“Let me finish, please,” Adam suggested. He looked down at the table. “I realized pretty quickly that you still had some complicated feelings for your ex. That’s why I asked if I was just a rebound. I was hoping to save myself some heartache.”

He sat back, and waited for Kurt’s response.

Kurt shook his head. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t think that was it. I really did want to move on from Blaine. It’s just that every time I see him – all these old feelings come up, all these hopes and dreams I had. I get confused, because sometimes he’s nice, and sweet, and funny. And hot. Sorry.”

Adam lifted his shoulders, his face not betraying any hurt.

“Not that you aren’t,” Kurt hastened to add. He started stacking the packets of fake sugar. “It’s just – he’s familiar, you know? I know what to expect.”

Adam nodded, and he continued.

“But as soon as he really has my attention, he seems to lose interest. Let me back up.

“When I first met you, I thought you were a really nice guy, and handsome, sophisticated, charming. I thought you were way out of my league. But you kept paying me compliments, and you liked my singing enough to want me to join your group. You acted like my opinion mattered. It was just a very confusing time for me. Maybe I should have just stayed single for a while, and focused on school and my job, my new life here. But I liked you so much, Adam!”

Adam raised an eyebrow. “Liked, past tense?”

Kurt shook his head rapidly. “No. I do like you, still. But early on when we met, I was amazed you seemed to like me, and it was hard to imagine why. But I wanted to go out with you, I just didn’t think I had a chance.”

“Why on earth not?”

“Well, look at you! And look at me. Even though you dress a little – um – No, I can’t really say that.”

Kurt glanced around the room, which wasn’t very crowded yet, and saw Adam wasn’t dressed all that differently from many of the others; jeans, a red-and-black plaid shirt, and a black vest, with a matching black beanie.

“Say what? And why not?” Adam looked like he was teasing rather than taking offense.

“There’s nothing wrong with the way you dress,” Kurt added quickly, “it’s just…different. But I’ve spent most of my life trying to look different, so I can’t complain. Especially when I was younger, I used clothes as a way to protect myself. Not just a few layers to act as a barrier against the Neanderthals who used to shove me into lockers, throw me in the dumpsters, and slushie me.”

“What? They did all that?”

“And more,” Kurt sighed. “But I tried to dress really carefully, so hopefully people would be looking at my clothes, rather than at my face. Or at me. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t like what I saw. I’ve always tried to take care of my face, with moisturizers, facials, trying to stay out of the sun…but I still have these annoying freckles.”

“I happen to like your freckles, very much,” Adam objected. “But go on. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Kurt smiled and continued. “Well, I didn’t like my looks, and there was only so much I could do about them. When I met Blaine, he looked like this old-fashioned movie star, and he sang to me within the first three minutes of us meeting. Maybe I should have taken that as a sign,” he grinned ruefully.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, Blaine had to have all the solos, every time. He agreed at one point to let me sing a duet with him for Regionals, when we were both in the Warblers, but it didn’t go over to well. Maybe the song choice didn’t suit our voices that well.”

“What song was it?”

“’Candles’ by Hey Monday.”

“A break-up song,” Adam clarified.

“Yes. It just didn’t quite work. But he said he arranged for the duet so we could spend more time together. And later I started thinking, he didn’t want to sing with me because he loved my voice, but because he wanted to spend more time with me. It was kind of flattering, but also not, when I really thought about it. It’s like, all the way along our relationship, things were really weird. Things that seemed romantic at the time, when I was caught up in the moment, I look back at them now and want to yell at myself to stop being so naïve. It’s obvious to me now that Blaine never cared about me as much as he cared about himself, or how things made him look. He’s very image-conscious.”

“Like…” Adam prodded. 

He seemed to be focusing all his attention on Kurt, and he wasn’t used to that.

“Well, I thought he was just really oblivious at first, to the fact that I liked him. Then he talked about wanting to go serenade the guy he had a crush on, and I really thought he meant me.”

“Who was it?”

“Some older guy…well, maybe just out of college. But the Warblers went to serenade him at The Gap, where he worked. I thought it was a little odd, but Blaine was insistent. This Jeremiah, he wasn’t expecting it, and he really wasn’t happy. We kind of spread out in the store a bit, and Blaine was literally chasing him around the store, with Jeremiah literally running from him, while Blaine sang about sex toys in the drawer. The rest of us were just back-up singers.”

“Sounds like he has a history of needing backup to work up the courage to woo someone.”

“Maybe,” Kurt acknowledged.

“But this was done at his workplace?” Adam sounded appalled.

“Yep. Where he was closeted. So Blaine embarrassed and outed this guy he supposedly cared about. But from what he told me about him, his main motivation seemed to be that if they got married, he’d get a 25% discount at The Gap.”

“Please tell me you’re joking,” Adam begged, though he was grinning.

“No, I’m not. On top of everything else, Jeremiah got fired, and Blaine didn’t even apologize! Jeremiah explained that just because they’d had coffee together a few times didn’t mean he was interested in a high school boy. Blaine seemed more hurt that his surprise backfired on him, than the fact that he hurt and alienated this guy he supposedly liked. He didn’t offer to try to explain things to the manager, to help Jeremiah get his job back, nothing.”

“Charming. Sorry. Go on.”

“You don’t want to hear all this, do you?”

“Oh, but I do. I find it fascinating. For one thing, I’m learning all the things I should NOT do if we ever date again.”

“You wouldn’t do any of these things anyway,” Kurt insisted.

“Maybe not, but it’s fun, in a morbid sort of way, to hear about them,” Adam confessed.

“Fair enough. Okay. So near Valentine’s Day, I finally flat out told him I liked him, and he said he didn’t do romance very well. I should have listened. I’d brought him to a party at Rachel’s house, and most people there had gotten drunk, including Blaine. I was staying sober, because I was trying to make a good impression. He obviously wasn’t thinking about the impression I’d have of him. And then he kissed Rachel. And I don’t mean a peck on the cheek, the way I kiss her.”

“Did he know then that you liked him?”

“Not yet. I thought it was pretty obvious, but like I said, he was pretty oblivious. But Rachel knew. At that time, she and I were more competitors and enemies than friends. Then he agreed to go out on a date with her! We got into this stupid argument, and he said maybe he was bisexual, because he liked the kiss, and liked Rachel. I said something incredibly stupid, about there being no such thing as bisexuals, that it’s just people who aren’t brave enough to admit they’re gay, who want to hold hands with somebody else in the hallway. Something embarrassing like that. He got really snippy in return, which I deserved. So that didn’t go too well.”

Kurt sighed, and Adam smiled sympathetically, though he didn’t interrupt.

Kurt knocked down the little stack of sweetener packets, then started stacking them again. “He finally decided he was interested in me, after the Warblers’ mascot bird, Pavarotti, died. I was supposed to be responsible for him, and I was taking good care of him, but he died, and I felt horrible. I missed the first part of rehearsal because I was trying to figure out how to express my grief. I showed up late, and I wasn’t wearing the uniform we were supposed to wear, it was an all-black outfit. I told them Pavarotti died, gave one of the guys the backing track for the tape player, and I sang “Blackbird.” Even though he was actually a yellow bird.” He grinned weakly.

Adam smiled. “I love that song.”

“Me, too. Anyway, somehow Blaine had this revelation, like he saw me for the first time. He said he’d been waiting for me all his life. Now that I think about it, it sounds more like a line you’d hear in a movie.”

“Or from someone who’s in love with the idea of being in love,” Adam put in.

“Could be. So I found a box to bury Pavarotti in, bedazzled it, and Blaine decided to help me bury him. None of the other Warblers wanted to attend the ceremony, but I’m not sure why. He asked me if it reminded me of my mother’s funeral, and I said yes, but her coffin was bigger.”

“What an odd thing for him to bring up. Rather insensitive,” Adam pointed out.

“Tell me about it! So that’s when he decides to tell me how much he likes me, and we started going out.”

“You mean he didn’t stage an extravagant event to ask you to go out with him, in front of all the Warblers?” Adam teased. He slapped himself lightly and shook his head. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

Kurt laughed, but he stopped quickly. “In retrospect, I liked that quiet, private way of asking me, rather than putting a lot of pressure on me in front of family, friends and strangers.”

Adam shook his head. “I promise I will never propose to you in a public setting.”

Kurt looked at him, startled, and saw Adam’s eyes were wide. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean – I was just saying, in general. I wouldn’t do that to anybody.”

Kurt was a little disappointed, actually. “Oh, well, that’s good to know. I will never again allow someone to manipulate me like that, getting me to agree to something I really had doubts about.”

Adam looked as though he were holding back anger. “That was completely wrong, though I suppose he might have assumed you’d say yes, and wanted your friends to be able to celebrate, too?”

“No, it was all about him being the center of attention, and having people thinking he’s really concerned about marriage equality. And you do know what they say when you assume something, right?”

“No, what?”

Adam looked puzzled so maybe he hadn’t heard the phrase before.

“You make an ‘ass’ of ‘u’ and ‘me’. And he certainly did.”

Adam laughed heartily at that. He finished the rest of his tea, though it was surely cold.

Adam spoke carefully, looking Kurt directly in the eyes as he said, “I understand feeling pressured, by so many people being there, but if you had doubts, couldn’t you have just said, “I’m sorry, you caught me off-guard, I need more time to think about it?”

“I didn’t think of that,” Kurt admitted. “But he knew I was leaving for New York that same day. He must have really scrambled to get it all set up so quickly.”

“Right. But why was he in such a hurry? Wouldn’t it have made more sense to wait? I gather from what you said earlier, that you agreed to go out with him, because you were thinking of it as starting over.”

“I suppose I didn’t explain that part to him well enough. I guess he figured we’d skip all the reconciliation stuff, just assume we were both fine with things, and get engaged.”

Adam glanced down at Kurt’s hand, still stacking and re-stacking sweetener packets. “I suppose it was a nice ring.”

Kurt glanced down at his hand, as though still seeing it there. “Yeah, it was, but if I’d had a choice, I don’t think I’d have wanted a diamond. It looks a little too much like a woman’s engagement ring.”

“Mm, yes. Tell me, is Blaine wearing an engagement ring?”

“No. I didn’t have time to get him one, or the money, to be honest. And I still don’t want to spend that kind of money. I wish he hadn’t spent that much. Just a promise ring would have been fine.”

“I guess some guys do get engagement rings, gay couples, I mean. But for you to wear one and him not, it really sounds like he’s treating you as though you’re the woman in the relationship, from an old sit-com or something.”

“Yeah, he did that a lot, I’m realizing now. I didn’t always help with that assumption, but it’s like he wanted a way to mark me as his, to chain me to him so I didn’t have a chance to meet anyone else before he could get here.”

“I’m not sure I understand. He’s the one who strayed, and cheated on you with – you don’t even know who.”

“Right.” Kurt bit his lip and looked away for a moment, before returning his attention to Adam. “But I’m the one who’s supposed to wear a ring, telling the world I’m taken, so I don’t cheat on him, or have someone else take me away from him.”

“That doesn’t stop people from cheating,” Adam pointed out. “There are married men who just take their ring off. Of course, their potential partner might see that the skin is lighter where the wedding band was.”

“I don’t think it would show up with me, I’m so pale anyway,” Kurt joked. “But the more I thought about it, I realized, we should either both be wearing an engagement ring, or neither of us. And I was just so unhappy about that. And about being ambushed by this ridiculous, incredibly public proposal. It’s like he just assumed I would say yes.

“What happened with us, you and me – I wanted to make it work, Adam, and I thought, when I went back to Lima to see my dad, that if I saw Blaine it wouldn’t be a big deal. But he kept pushing. I’d agreed to stay around another week, to spend time with my dad. But I actually spent more time with my friends, including Blaine. I don’t know what came over me, but I thought maybe we needed to start over. So I did something really stupid, and got the high school marching band to play “Got To Get You Into My Life.” They were doing this Beatles theme, for two weeks, at McKinley, so I went with it. I planned on singing it to him, and even asked him not to sing, but he didn’t listen. But I was thinking, let’s just start dating again, and go slowly. I thought it would be easier to be separated if we weren’t as intense, if we started out like casually dating. I had a nice picnic prepared, and thought it would be a good time to talk.”

Kurt was trying to keep his voice low, so it would carry to others around them.

“But Blaine didn’t want to talk about the fact that I still didn’t trust him not to cheat. He was very dismissive, like, “We’ve already talked about this.” But he changed his excuse. Instead of it being my fault for not being there when he wanted me, this time he said he thought I was done with him. When he told me to come out here, and said I needed to leave Lima, it sure didn’t feel like we were breaking up. He’d made plans to come out and see me a few weeks later. But instead, he showed up earlier than I expected, with a huge bouquet of flowers, and was acting really weird. 

“He wanted to go to the karaoke bar, and he sang an acoustic version of Teenage Dream, which was the first song I heard him sing. He was playing piano, and crying while he sang. I didn’t understand why. We went for a walk in the park, and I asked him what was wrong. It was obvious to me something was upsetting him. He finally said he’d been with someone. Now it had been about two weeks since I’d left. He told me it was my fault for not being there. So how does any of that sound like he thought I was done with him when I left? Why did he feel the need to come out early and visit me, and confess he’d been with someone? If he really thought we were over, he wouldn’t have really needed to tell me. I still don’t know who it was, or the circumstances.”

Kurt took a sip of his cold coffee, and made a face.

Adam held up one hand, and waved the barista over. He placed orders for more coffee for Kurt, and tea for himself. By the time the barista had left, Kurt was more composed.

“So he lied to you, at one time or another,” Adam summarized.

“Yes. And probably more than once. He’s never taken responsibility for his bad behavior or bad decisions. Either it’s somehow my fault, or he was drunk. Which I’m starting to realize is no excuse.”

“It’s not,” Adam confirmed. “If you choose to alter your mood, perception, reasoning ability, and lower your inhibitions with alcohol, or any substance, you’re also choosing the responsibility for the consequences. So if he got drunk and met some guy, and gave in to temptation, it’s not the fault of the alcohol, it’s his fault for making himself vulnerable to impaired decision-making.”

“How are you so smart about this?”

Adam shrugged. “Let’s just say, you’re not the only one who dated someone with an alcohol problem. And it is a problem if he’s using it as a crutch, to do what he wants, and then thinks it gives him a free pass. It doesn’t.”

Kurt nodded. “And the thing is, he knows he’s done some stupid things in the past, but it doesn’t stop him from drinking. I got drunk one time, when I was 16, because…well, it’s complicated, but Mr. Schue knew someone his age who needed to graduate from high school, mainly so she could sing in our glee club. She had a fantastic voice, but she couldn’t control the drinking. Anyway, she gave me this…I don’t know what. It tasted horrible, but made me more relaxed. Too relaxed. I threw up on Miss Pillsbury’s shoes. Very sweet lady who was the school guidance counselor, but has a bad case of OCD. She’s the one who married Mr. Schue.”

Adam nodded, and he continued.

“I learned my lesson. It’s not that I don’t drink at all, but I don’t let myself get drunk. I have one or two glasses of wine with dinner sometimes with Rachel, but I don’t ever try to lose control. I don’t want to not remember what I did the next day, or remember that I did something I’ll feel guilty about.”

“That’s a good way to look at it.” Adam sighed. “Look, Kurt. Obviously Blaine’s put you through a lot. And it sounds like he sort of ambushed you with this whole proposal. It’s not like you went out there intending to dump me and get back together with him.”

Kurt winced. “No, I really didn’t. I’m so sorry, Adam. I should have at least called you and officially broken it off. But I didn’t know what to say. Blaine asked what happened with you, with ‘that guy in New York’ and I told him it didn’t work out. I wanted him to just drop it, instead of asking questions. And he still gave me this suspicious look, like he thought…I don’t know what. I didn’t want to upset him any further, so I played it down. I planned on telling you when I got back here, but Rachel beat me to it.”

Adam rolled his eyes. “She certainly couldn’t wait to spread the news that you were engaged. Various Apples kept asking me what happened, what went wrong, and I didn’t know what to tell them. I just told them I wasn’t ready to talk about it.”

Kurt reached out and put his hand over Adam’s, which was resting next to his cup. “I’m so, so sorry, Adam. I really messed up. I shouldn’t have tried to work things out with Blaine. I should have told him we could be friends, but I needed to sort things out with you first. And I really should have given you more of a chance.”

Adam sighed, and looked down at the table. “I’m glad you’ve explained all this. It makes me feel a little better.”

“So how about this?” Kurt suggested. “I really don’t want to lose your friendship.”

“You haven’t,” Adam assured him.

“That’s a relief. Can we just be friends for a while, and see what happens?”

“No problem. I promise I won’t try to pressure you, and I’ll stop flirting so much.”

Kurt nodded. “I enjoy the flirting, but I agree, let’s both dial it back for now. Maybe if we can set a solid foundation as friends, we can see how we both feel later on.”

Adam explained, “I don’t want to be the rebound guy, that someone goes to when they’ve been hurt, then changes their mind. I’m not saying I want someone who will never, ever leave me. Lots of relationships just don’t work out. But sometimes, when you go too quickly from one to the next, you haven’t had time to sort out your feelings with the last person, or the problems you had in your relationship with them. I get that life is complicated, and we all come with some baggage. But I would prefer to know that someone is dating me because they really care about me, not to get back at someone else, or waiting for that person to change their mind, or whatever else. I want to be loved for myself, not because I’m there and convenient.”

Kurt was quiet, taking it all in. “That’s fair enough. I take it I wasn’t just the second rebound?”

“No. That’s why I’d like to take the time to do this right. I’d really like to be friends with whomever I date. I think it’s a nice, solid foundation you can build on. And if I ever decide I want to spend my life with someone, I’d better be able to think of him as a friend as well as a lover. 

“Let’s take the time to get to know each other, Kurt. If you want to talk to me about Blaine, or the problems you had, that’s fine. If you want me to just listen and say nothing, I can do that, but you’d better tell me. Otherwise you will get my opinion, and possibly my unsolicited advice. And possibly some language you’re not used to hearing from me.”

That last part brought a smile to Kurt’s lips, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Thanks, Adam. I really appreciate that you’re willing to go through all this. At least I know you really care. You took the time, and I’m sure it was really inconvenient, to try to help Dad find me. My other friends were too busy with other things.”

If Adam was hurt by being lumped in with Kurt’s other “friends” he didn’t show it.

“It doesn’t mean they don’t care, but everyone has different priorities and needs in their life. Maybe under other circumstances they’d have been more helpful. But your father was so upset – no matter how hurt I was, I couldn’t just turn my back on you, or on him.”

Kurt took a deep breath. “That’s the kind of thing I really admire, and would want in a long-term relationship. Or even in a friend, actually.”

Adam nodded his understanding.

“I want to be there for you, too, Adam. I’m sure I’ll be preoccupied with classes, or work, or maybe dad’s health, or roommate drama. But I do care about you, a lot, and I hope I’ll always be there for you if you need me.”

“Thank you, Kurt. I wasn’t able to stay friends with any of my exes – maybe because we weren’t really all that good of friends to begin with. I hope any romantic ups and downs won’t interfere with our friendship.”

“I agree.” Kurt grinned widely.

“Good.” Adam leaned forward again, and stared at him intently. “That reminds me, you’re coming back to the Apples, aren’t you?”

Kurt laughed. “I don’t know where I’ll fit that in, but I said I’d join, and I mean it. I know I’m kind of overbooked as it is, but I want to sing with you.” He took a deep breath. “And I’m going to be starting a new job next week, at the Broadway Café.”

“Really?” Adam grinned. “That’s great. By coincidence, my job at the restaurant was only filling in for someone on maternity leave, and she’s coming back next week. Guess where I applied and was accepted?”

Kurt grinned. “Maybe somebody is trying to tell us something.”

“Maybe we should both listen,” Adam recommended. “In the meantime, I think we should both be free to date other people.”

Kurt gasped, and pulled his hand back. “Really?”

“Yes.” 

Instead of pulling his hand back, Adam let it go. Kurt wasn’t sure what to make of that. 

“I don’t have my eye on anyone right now,” Adam continued, “but I think you need some time to date other people, if you want to. If you meet someone you’re interested in, I don’t want you to hold back because of me. I’d rather know you’re with me because you want to be. I want you to be able to realize how wonderful you are, and how many men would be lucky to be with you.” His cheeks colored. “I didn’t mean that quite the way it sounded. I’m not encouraging you to have one-night stands, but if you want to do that, I’d prefer you get it out of your system now rather than later.” He took a deep breath. “Not that it’s my place to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. It’s your life, Kurt. But you’ve lived in a small town your whole life until recently, with Blaine apparently being just about your only option of someone to date. I don’t want to be your rebound, but I also don’t want to trap you into thinking you have no other options but me. You have many options, Kurt. I want you to want me, not to just settle for me.”

Kurt grinned. “Cheap Trick, huh? My mom used to listen to that song a lot.”

Adam’s eyebrows furrowed. “What song?”

“I want you to want me,” Kurt sang softly, “I need you to need me. I’d love you to love me, I’m begging you to beg me.”

“Never heard it,” Adam confessed. “Well, I don’t like the begging part, but the rest of it, yes, I agree. I don’t want either of us to settle. If you want to date me casually, we can try that, but I have to say, I want more than that from you.”

“You mean you don’t just want to get into my pants?” Kurt rolled his eyes. 

Adam’s gaze turned intent. “Yes, of course I do. But I want more than that. I don’t want to be a sex buddy or whatever. I’m trying to dial my feelings back, but I care about you too much to be content with just the physical.”

Kurt nodded. “Good. Because I feel the same.”

“You do?” Adam grinned, and sat back in his chair.

“Of course. I’m not like Blaine, I can’t do casual sex. I tried it with him, that time at Mr. Schue and Emma’s wedding, but it really wasn’t that enjoyable. It was fun, but that wasn’t really –“ He stopped and searched for the right words. “Something was missing. I want passion, and love, and caring about each other.

“Okay, let’s try being friends, and I’ll try dating other guys if I meet anyone I like who likes me,” Kurt agreed. “But I don’t want to go to bars or pick-up places.”

Adam shrugged. “You don’t have to. I think you’ll make more friends at NYADA, and you’ll meet other people through parties, or work, or who knows what. But please, keep in mind. If you need a ride home, or you need a way out of a tricky situation, give me a call. I don’t want you to feel that you have to be completely alone. On the other hand, if you don’t want any backup, and you want to just try to handle things yourself, that’s fine, too. I just want you to know there are options if you want them.”

“Thank you, Adam. The same goes for you. I don’t have a car, but I can take a cab or something to get to where you are if you need me. I want you to know you can count on me, as a friend, to have your back.”

Adam sighed deeply. “Well, now that we’ve solved the immediate problem, I’ve got to get to work pretty soon. But you know I enjoy your company, Kurt, so any time you want to hang out, or see a movie or a concert or something with me, let me know.”

“Likewise.” Kurt stood up, and when they shook hands, he held Adam’s a bit longer than necessary. “Thank you again for being there for me, for caring, and wanting to help.”

“Of course.”

 

<><><><><><><><><><>

 

About a week later, Kurt wasn’t entirely surprised to see Blaine waiting for him at the end of his Intro to Acting class. It was his last class of the day. He was surprised Blaine hadn’t just barged into the class and interrupted it with whatever asinine speech he had in mind.

“Kurt! Hey, fancy meeting you here!”

Naturally, Blaine’s face was hidden behind the largest bouquet Kurt had ever seen. He hadn’t even had to hear the voice to know for sure who it was, anyway.

He tried to keep his temper. “What are you doing here, Blaine? I’ve got things to do.”

Blaine tried to hand him the gargantuan display, but Kurt refused to take it. “I’m sorry, Blaine, I can’t accept your flowers. Please, move out of the way of the door so you’re not blocking it.

“But –“ Blaine reluctantly moved about a foot past the doorway, and set the bouquet down. “Kurt, I want you to know, I forgive you for being confused and turning down my proposal. I wanted to give you another chance. Just come with me, and –“

“I’m not going anywhere with you, Blaine. And why would I want you back?”

“Because we’re soulmates! You know you love me, and you always will.”

“Blaine, you’re a terrible fiancé or boyfriend! You didn’t even care that my dad hadn’t heard from me and couldn’t find me anywhere!”

Other students just walked around them, a few openly eavesdropping, but most had better things to do with their time, and wanted to leave for the day.

“Of course I cared, Kurt, but I had other things going on,” Blaine whined. “My parents were so upset about what your dad told them –“

“You mean telling them the truth. And why the hell didn’t you tell them you wanted to marry me? Or were even dating me?”

“Well, sometimes it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.”

“So you admit you would need your parents’ permission to marry me. Sounds like you wouldn’t get it anyway.”

“Just give me a little time. I’m working on it.”

“How’s that going for you?”

“Well, they grounded me, but the second they lifted that, I came out here for you.”

Kurt was having a hard time remembering why he’d ever thought Blaine was so terrific.

“What about Regionals?” he asked. “Student Council? Finals? Graduation?”

“They’re not important!” Blaine took a step closer, and Kurt took a step back. Blaine had sense enough to stop. “What I care about is you.”

“Yeah, we’ve already established how much you care.” Kurt tapped his foot on the floor. “Let me get this straight: Your parents grounded you. And you need their permission to marry me, presumably so they’ll pay for the wedding.”

“Well, yeah.” Blaine looked up hopefully.

Kurt kept his voice as even as possible. “Blaine, do you realize how ridiculous this sounds? You haven’t even graduated from high school yet. You’re living with your parents, who are still capable of grounding you, and you have no money of your own. How can you possibly think you’re mature enough to get married?”

He tried to listen to the answer, he really did, but all he could hear was, “Blah, blah, blah, soulmates, blah, blah, blah, meant to be, blah, blah, together forever, blah, blah, destiny.”

“Well, unfortunately you’re my density,” Kurt snapped.

“What?” Blaine was confused. Probably because he had interrupted his well-rehearsed speech.

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Meaning you’re too dense to get my point. You are not independent, financially or otherwise. How are you going to support yourself?”

“Well, you’re going to support us for a while. I’m going to go to NYADA, and you’ll be working full-time.”

Kurt reminded himself about his dad’s arrhythmia, and that he might have inherited a potential for heart problems, so he took a deep breath. “What? In what alternate universe do you think I would give up NYADA?”

“Well, you’ll have had a semester here already, so you’ll be able to get it out of your system. Come on, Kurt! Even four years here wouldn’t help you get a career.”

“What the – Blaine! You say you love me, but you can talk to me like that? But it doesn’t matter. I do not love you and I will not marry you. I don’t think I can say it plainer than that.”

“But what do I tell everybody?” Blaine sounded like he really hadn’t thought of that possibility.

“That’s your problem,” Kurt insisted. “If you’d spent as much time working on our relationship, and showing me ways I could trust you, as you spent on organizing that proposal, things might have gone differently. But your priority is to always make yourself the center of attention. And the problem with that is, if you make a mistake, or make a fool of yourself, it’s in front of a lot of people. It’s your problem, Blaine, not mine.”

“But Kurt –“

Someone cleared their throat loudly behind them. They turned around to see a terrifying sight.

“Gentlemen. Unless you have a reason for being here after hours, I suggest you leave.”

“Yes, Madam Thibodeaux,” Kurt sighed. 

“Not just yet, Mr. Hummel.”

Kurt stayed where he was.

“You – gel-for-brains. What’s your name?”

“Blaine Anderson, ma’am.”

“Blaine. Anderson.” She said the name very slowly. “I’ll remember that name, should I ever see or hear it again. And you should be aware, Mr. Hummel is the current reigning champion of Midnight Madness, where he bested Miss Rachel Berry.”

“Midnight Madness?”

“You know about that?” Kurt asked, horrified.

“There is very little that goes on in this school that I don’t know about, Mr. Hummel. Now go on, someone is waiting for you by the Apples’ rehearsal area.”

“Yes, ma’am. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now, Mr. Anderson, are you going to leave now, or do I need to call Security? And take those flowers with you.”

Blaine left, but kept looking in the direction Kurt had been walking.

Carmen pulled out her cell phone and dialed Security, to make sure Blaine left the campus and didn’t come back. She didn’t want one of her best singers to be harassed by a jealous ex.


End file.
